Music videos with Commentary

I have decided to go through every Music Video I've directed and record honest, candid commentaries for each of them- no matter how obscure. I hope you enjoy hearing the stories behind these productions.


MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER



AMBER PACIFIC



GYM CLASS HEROES 1



SPEECH



ARMOR FOR SLEEP



FORGIVE DURDEN

Transformers...Lamewads in disguise!

Transformers…also known as “Everything that is wrong with American cinema today”

It’s ironic, that this film came from the man whose name is synonymous with American cinema – Steven Spielberg. Or is it? Maybe it’s fitting? Maybe this is proof that the dinosaur’s age of ruling this artistic landscape is fast approaching its end.

The film was an insult, it expected us to act like the character’s onscreen- wide-eyed Americans watching in slow motion as big things fly overhead, or big things fight overhead, or big things explode overhead. It doesn’t want us to question; it simply wants us to stare in awe. Well I refuse. These men are ruining modern film with giant 200 million dollar funded blows of immaturity and slanderously mis-directed car commercials.

Grown men made this film, not little kids amused by smashing Tonka trucks into each other on the sidewalk in front of their house- but grown men, aged men, filmmakers who know the craft better than most if not all who pick up a camera. Yet, this is what they give to us. I remember a day when Steven was the man responsible for epic action-adventure films with soul, with heart, with strength and depth of character. Films like Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Don’t be tricked into believing that a fun “popcorn” movie also needs to be devoid of anything intellectual or emotionally engaging. Remember that films can be all things, and not just mind-numbing distractions. They can have action and romance, they can have thrills and laughs, and they can have high excitement and deep meaning.

Transformers, unfortunately has none of those things. Well you may laugh, if you think a Transformer saying “My bad” is funny, or a Transformer saying, “This looks like a chill place to kick it!” is funny. I don’t think it’s funny, because I actually liked…the Transformers back when they were robots in disguise, not Finding Forrester in disguise.

This film along with Spiderman 3 is proof that these aging filmmakers need to be ushered off into the retirement ward- and allow new blood to breathe fresh life into stories and visuals that dance across our silver screens.

Or they need to take a drink from whatever magical vitality inducing chalice Martin Scorsese’s been sipping from.

I want a Transformer’s film like the animated film, one that is about…well Transformers. Not “People arguing: The movie…with two transformers fighting at the end.” I want something that blows my mind, not something that looked unfortunately what I would imagine a Michael Bay directed Transformers movie to look like.

When did Jon Voight forget how to act? How can any director have the power to drain Turturro’s talent?

Why didn’t a consultant let Bay know that…high school’s not like Saved by the Bell anymore. The blonde jock that hates Sam for…no apparent reason. But he’s a jerk so the chick will get with the good guy in the end. I think to save money they actually just inserted footage from an already existing episode of Degrassi Junior High.

The film was severely unbalanced, cutting away to a tiny robot fight while Bumblebee slaughters Barricade? Good idea. Cut back to : Barricade down. Hmm, would've been a nice fight to see.

When they give us a fight, it's the messy excuse for a “climax” shot in downtown LA that ended with “Push the box into my chest!!!”

The action was so bottom heavy- it was as if by the time the screenwriter got to the last 30 pages he realized…”Dangit, I don’t really have any Transformer’s in the movie…the movie called Transformers…”

So he shoved all the T’formin action into an overcrowded bloated fallout in the last moments. I’m glad they spent 20 min. paying homage to Harry and the Hendersons by showing how hard it would be for Transformer’s to hide around a suburban home though. I guess that gave the writer time to make his masturbation jokes, also something I desperately wanted from a Transformer’s movie. I also don’t want to see a Transformer’s movie where a tiny pair of glasses matters so much.

Anyway, back to the ending…

Why couldn’t Prime push the box into Mega’s chest? Why didn’t Mega just swipe Sam out of the way and make him a greasy streak on a brick wall?

Well, the same reason Tom Cruise’s son didn’t die in War of the Worlds. These older filmmakers are afraid to infuse their films with the very sense of realism that enlivened their fantasy projects of old.

Just because Michael Bay is the king of cliché’s doesn’t mean we should accept that as “style”. Critics say he’s aware of how formulaic his films are and that’s why he excels and creates movies that relate to us on a base human level.

That’s fancy talk for “Dumb Americans like shiny things and slow-motion explosions and Bay’s been milking that for years now”.

I’m not tricked, I’m dying to see the face of cinema altered, I’m dying to be included in a change within the arts that will spring from artists bored and bitter by the mundane and repetitive. This film is another nail in the coffin of original innovative moviemaking.

Everyone should line up early, get their popcorn, remove brain accordingly if hoping to enjoy.

Sneak peek...

MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER coming soon...

The best music video ever created by anyone...ever...period.

Say it aint so.

I was full of such nervouse excitement as I sat in that theater. Waiting anxiously to see my boys! Venom and the web-head together on the silver screen at last.

Then I watched the film and realized...they replaced one of the most menacing villains of all time with...a girl...with a babydoll...a delicate little porcelain baby doll.

That wasn't Venom, that was something I wanted to forget all too quickly. Do over! Please Raimi do over!

The film would ramp up in goodness and the crash down in lameness, over and over again. Franco would bring it, Topher would bring it (as Brock pre-Venom) Dunst would get me teary-eyed- and then they would cut to a DANCE NUMBER.

Oh wait, that was a typo I meant to say DANCE NUMBER. Oh that's what I said? Oh man, I guess it wasn't a typo- I mean it should be a typo, there SHOULDN'T BE a dance number in Spiderman 3. But there is.

There's also no momentum from the Brock storyline, fake depth to Sandman's, and no real movement or emotional shift in the film as a whole.

They try, don't get me wrong- the film wasn't a flagrant disregard to what we know and love about these comics- wait, you know what? No it was. It was totally an F you to anyone that gives a rip about Venom or Petey's origin or Gwen's involvement in his life.

There were some great moments, some truly touching moments, some truly hurtful moments- they had me for a greater part of the film, but when they lost me- they LOST me.

I need to forget I even saw it and just move on...maybe Tim Story will blaze it with FF2...oh wait, it's humanly impossible for him to blaze anything. Dangit.

Well maybe the guy that made Transporter will blaze Hulk...oh wait...Dangit.

Well maybe in ten years they'll re-boot the Spidey franchise and we'll finally see the comics onscreen- instead of whatever it was I saw last night.

I'm sorry...

...but Lost is going so very strong, so VERY strong. Last night's episode was hard to watch because my face was melting off from the molten blaze sauce being poured out from the shows WHITE HOT perfection.

Every moment, Jack and Kate, John and Daddy, Alex and Sayid, Ben and John...such gooey rich goodness. It was like a delicate (or not so delicate) ballet of doom and destruction, played out against and elegant yet aggressive backdrop of despair and revenge.

The looks, the glances, the pauses, the steps, the explosions- all executed with such a confident sense of storytelling and direction.

Lost, truly you are...like the wind...through my tree...I feel your breathe on my face...your body close to me...I can't look in your eyes...YOU'RE OUT OF MY LEAGUE!!!

Anyone?

Next music video project...

If you know who this dude is...



...then you know who were making a music video for this month.