I'm sorry...

...but Lost is going so very strong, so VERY strong. Last night's episode was hard to watch because my face was melting off from the molten blaze sauce being poured out from the shows WHITE HOT perfection.

Every moment, Jack and Kate, John and Daddy, Alex and Sayid, Ben and John...such gooey rich goodness. It was like a delicate (or not so delicate) ballet of doom and destruction, played out against and elegant yet aggressive backdrop of despair and revenge.

The looks, the glances, the pauses, the steps, the explosions- all executed with such a confident sense of storytelling and direction.

Lost, truly you are...like the wind...through my tree...I feel your breathe on my face...your body close to me...I can't look in your eyes...YOU'RE OUT OF MY LEAGUE!!!

Anyone?

Next music video project...

If you know who this dude is...



...then you know who were making a music video for this month.

The Host

This movie did so many things right, so many great decisions were made that challenged me during the viewing of this film.

There were also numerous decisions that perplexed me, and even turned me off to certain moments and elements the filmmaker brought into the story.

Some of the elements that I wasn't particularly fond of may have been due to culture differences, I wasn't prepared for moments of comedy that seemed a little innapropriate. Then again, when I pictured the film in english- some of the jokes seemed right out of a Larry the cable guy special.

But apart from the moments of humor that I could've done without- The Host was a really well executed film- with certain flaws that I feel kept it from being perfect.

There were things in this film, certain shots, certain well-paced sequences that I don't think could've come from an American filmmaker. At least, not a mainstream American filmmaker. Over here, genres are so processed, they are so clearly defined that a film that straddles the line between numerous genres is often looked at as confusing, muddy, or unsellable.

I shouldn't say it couldn't have come from an American filmmaker, I suppose I should say it couldn't have come from an American studio.

The film follows a Korean family as they attempt to rescue a young family member from a mutated creature that has been habitating in the local Han River.

The greatest performances come from the little girl who has been kidnapped by the monster, and her somewhat dimwitted father who struggles to be taken seriously by everyone around him- including his own family.

The reveal of the monster is clever and subtle. The score was at some times distracting and fellini-esque. The action was solid and believable. The special effects were at best- passable (never impressive) and at worst- Sci-Fi original quality.

It's a film that's worth seeing. I found myself wishing there were more "Hollywood" moments. I hate to say it, but my American sensibilities weren't served fully- and that may be a credit to the film and it's unwillingness to submit to predictability and cliche.

Demo Reel

Check it.

From the genius behind Dawn of the Dead...and some car commercials...

300.

Imax style.

40 feet of suck.

I think I saw a Mariah Carey video that might have had more slow-motion shots than in this film...or maybe it was Enrique Iglesias...meh, either way- their music videos were better than Zack Snyder's newest failed attempt at being something more than a commercial director.

You know, slow-motion doesn't always add tension or emotion (although I'm sure Zack Snyder wishes it does) especially when it's just...people walking in slow-motion, or guy eating sandwich in slow-motion.

Here's the lesson to learn :

You can't hide lack of story depth and directing skills in laborious over-stylization that we've already seen in ads for Xbox games and fifteen Subaru commercials that aired during the superbowl.

There's not even a point in comparing 300 to other films, because this "collection of moving images" doesn't even qualify as a film. It was a slew of fight sequences lazily strewn together to decieve audiences into thinking they were watching little more than an experimental art project gone lame.

If anything, the film exposes Frank Miller's writing to be what it's always been : supremely mediocre. The journey from comic to screen is always an awkward one for Miller's words. Actors never quite know how to deliver his lines (remember Britanny Murphy in Sin City? Or EVERY CHARACTER IN 300?).

Man that speech in the end was comical. In fact I laughed out loud more at this film than Reno 911 and Wild Hogs combined.

"What proffesion are you?"

"I'm sorry? Oh...potter...I make po-

"And what profession are you?"

"Uh, oh, I'm a sandwich artist at Subway I-"

We get the point. Got it. Soldiers. Right on. There should be a drinking game where you have to take a drink every time there's a shot of Gerard Butler turning around in slow-motion and saying something along the lines of-

"Alright...we're gonna have to bring it Sparta! Now think about this day...you're gonna want to remember it..I mean...wooh, big day guys...HUGE day...I mean in the big picture THIS day in particular wi-"

ALRIGHT!

This movie should have been called "Remember the Spartans" and Denzel should've coached Gerard on how to give a proper pep talk.

Oh and...will someone tell the makeup artist who did Freddie Rodriguez' fake muscley arm in Lady in the Water to stay away from hunchback effects in the future? Thanks. Also, the man/woman from The Crying Game did not make a convincing Xerxes, I think he was supposed to be cast as Buffalo Bill in the musical adaptation of Silence of the Lambs.

Am I scottish? Am I english? Am I actually a Spartan? Gerard Butler couldn't decide, I guess it didn't matter at the end of the day. What matters is that Zack Snyder, if left unthwarted- will next ruin The Watchmen for everyone while John August gears up to ruin Shazam...all the while Tim story is feverishly at work ruining Fantastic Four.

Any other comic properties left to ruin? Groo perhaps?

"They're kind of a big deal"

Could anything happen to make me more sick of the music video business?

Here's how it works- for those wondering. Label, management, someone calls you and tells you to think of an idea for a music video. All the while impressing upon you how important their client is...

"They have an upstream deal with Warner Bros. so..."

or

"They're opening for FOB this summer so..."

So...so...so WHAT? So I should think harder? I should create a concept somehow keeping the fact that their getting big in mind? The reason that is told to me by people, is to automatically put me on a tier lower. It's as if to say : "Andrew, some people are going to be shedding limbs to get this job so..."

So I have to care. What's funny is that- half of them don't go on to get "big" or "blow-up" and the ones that do, are still making sucky music videos today. They happened to be 250k worth of suckiness (which some would see as a victory for the band...I see as a travesty for our American artistic landscape).

So I ask the management, or label "bros" (they're always my best friend at first) if there's a specific direction they want me to go in creatively, they always respond one of two ways :

Either

"No man, just bring it, Bowserize it, we want to see what you got in that noggin of yours!"

or

"We're thinking like a TRL meets MCR meets Boys like Girls meets Summer-time jam with a twist of Ok Go! mixed in and a splash of Nelly (grills not Fertado) to be safe"

WHAT THE CRAP ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? You know what? They don't even know what they're talking about. Inside every manager or label exec is a quivering naked child who doesn't know the first thing about the creative process to begin with. They don't know where ideas come from, how they form and gestate. They have no clue how to execute any ideas they do have- but they are good at yelling, and making demands that reference artists from 40 different genres.

So I listen to the song, get inspired, write a treatment.

and...they...are...SO NOT INTO IT.

After telling me that I could freakin' Black Stallion it, no fences no boundaries...they bring in the restraints.

"Yeah, Andrew, man not at all what we were thinking."

"Oh you were thinking something? Because you either told me you had no ideas, or your ideas made less sense than Million Dollar Baby winning best picture two years ago"

They spin me something about the lead singer being really into some artistic movement involving sculptures of purple lions dressed like Native American medicine men...and they want me to represent that flow...but without ever showing a lion...because there's no budget for a lion.

My point is I am always led in a direction that I can't go. They say "Do something violent without the violence!" or "Do something yellow without the yellow!"

These people are certifiably and unfortunately insane. Yet they run businesses, successful ones at that. Without ever actually knowing what they want ..."It's just...there's a dog in my head, and that's just not the dog"

Or they send me a link to a video that they want me to "do something like".

WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN!!??

Never NEVER am I sent a link that is actually attached to a good video mind you, no they send me the latest Boys like Girls video, or the latest Darren Doane video or Shane Drake trainwreck.

You can't be inspired by something that is actually worse than anything you would ever accidentally step in while walking through a dog park.

You can only draw inspiration from things that ELEVATE you, not things that would require a frontal lobotomy to even sit through. The best inspirations don't even come from things you've seen, they come from your IMAGINATION, they are things yet UNSEEN...that's why it will be innovative, that's why there's geniuses in this world- they create things that we have yet to be exposed to 3,000 times in a row.

So we back and forth, they ask me to compromise and make something that doesn't make sense, or make something that caters to the lowest rung on the ladder- or they just say "this isn't gonna work"

You know what people? I knew that before you even called me.

What's the point?

What's the point of having a blogspot? The answer is simple, I want yet more places to type my unashamed unabashed opinions on art, society, and the world at large. Myspace just isn't enough people!

Also, I am in complete admiration of John Kricfalusi's blog, I visit it all the time and soak in every word and animated frame (even if I don't understand some of the more technical aspects of his opinions!)

This blog will be almost exclusively dedicated to my opinions on film, music, etc. As well as act as a more intimate running update on creative projects I am involved in (or pretend to be involved in). Enjoy! Welcome to my blogdom!